Immediate assessment and documentation when you first realize help is needed.

• Document current medications (names, doses, times, prescribing doctors)
• Assess fall risk and mobility limitations
• Check food supply and ability to prepare meals
• Verify they can use phone and call for help
• Locate important documents (insurance cards, ID, medical records)
• Note any confusion, memory issues, or behavior changes
• Check home for safety hazards (rugs, stairs, lighting)
• Identify who else is aware of the situation
• Take photos of medication bottles and key documents
• Write down emergency contacts for their area

Establishing routines and understanding the full scope of needs.

• Schedule medical appointments for current conditions
• Set up medication management system (pill organizer, reminders)
• Establish daily check-in routine (calls or visits)
• Assess need for home modifications or equipment
• Understand their financial situation and bill-paying abilities
• Research local resources (Area Agency on Aging, senior services)
• Begin conversations about future preferences and plans
• Document baseline abilities for future comparison
• Identify potential backup caregivers or helpers
• Start tracking your own time and energy expenditure

Critical steps before and immediately after they leave the hospital.

• Get written discharge instructions (not just verbal)
• Confirm medication changes and get new prescriptions filled
• Understand follow-up appointments and who scheduled them
• Verify home care orders if needed (therapy, nursing, aides)
• Ask about warning signs that require return to ER
• Arrange transportation home and for follow-up visits
• Confirm someone will be present for first 24–48 hours
• Get direct contact for discharge planner or case manager
• Understand dietary restrictions or activity limitations
• Ask: Is this person actually ready to be home alone?

Documents and authorities that must be in place BEFORE capacity is lost.

• Durable Power of Attorney for finances
• Healthcare Power of Attorney / Healthcare Proxy
• HIPAA authorization for medical information access
• Living will / Advance directive
• Current will and location of original
• List of financial accounts with institution names
• List of insurance policies (health, life, long-term care)
• Location of safe deposit box and key
• Names and contacts for attorney, accountant, financial advisor
• Digital access information (passwords, accounts)

Preparation while things are stable. This window closes unexpectedly.

• Complete all legal documents (see Legal Readiness)
• Tour care facilities before you need one
• Understand their insurance coverage and gaps
• Have the conversation about driving cessation
• Discuss living situation preferences honestly
• Research home care agencies in their area
• Create family communication plan for emergencies
• Understand their monthly expenses and income
• Identify what triggers would require living situation change
• Accept that decline is likely — plan accordingly

How to get useful information from medical appointments.

• Write down specific concerns and observations in advance
• Bring current medication list (including supplements)
• Note any changes since last visit
• Prepare specific questions (write them down)
• Bring someone to take notes
• Ask for clarification if you don’t understand
• Confirm next steps and who is responsible for them
• Get copies of test results and new prescriptions
• Ask: What should we watch for? When should we call?
• Schedule follow-up before leaving if needed

One page with every number you’ll need in a crisis. Print it. Put it on the fridge and in your wallet.

• Primary care physician (name, office, after-hours number)
• Specialists they see regularly (cardiologist, neurologist, etc.)
• Preferred hospital and ER (address + main number)
• Pharmacy (name, address, phone, account number)
• Health insurance (plan name, member ID, customer service number)
• Medicare / Medicaid numbers if applicable
• Power of Attorney holder (name + phone)
• Healthcare proxy / agent (name + phone)
• Attorney, accountant, financial advisor (names + phones)
• Family members and neighbors who can respond quickly
• Home care agency or aide schedule (if any)
• Building super, landlord, or HOA contact (if applicable)