CHECKLIST

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The Family Meeting Checklist

Here is a short list of suggested topics to help keep your early meetings focused.

Health conditions. Some older people say they don’t want to be “a burden on my kids,” but it’s better for both sides to have a realistic picture of a loved ones’ health and avoid any surprises.

Is there anything important about your parents’ health that they haven’t shared with you?

Have your parents explored various Medicare options and other health care plans that address their specific needs?

Do you have a contact list of their health care providers?

financial resources and Retirement plans.

Every aging couple has their own version of “retirementality,” their view of how they want to live during their later years. It’s important to share your plan with family caregivers. (For more discussion, see “What’s our Loved Ones’ ‘Retirementality’?” )

How long do your parents expect to work, assuming they continue to enjoy good health?

Once retired (if ever), how would they like to spend their time?

Do your parents have the financial resources to support them through retirement?

Are they aware of the array of Social Security options and other entitlements?

Your parents — assuming both are still alive and living together — will likely die separately. How will that eventuality affect their overall plans, including senior living and health care wishes?

Do you have a list of your parents’ financial advisers and have they assembled a list of their key documents and records?

Lifestyle and Housing Preferences. Housing is one of the most critical factors in ensuring safe and successful aging—and as you think ahead, contemplating changing needs over the years.

Do your parents want to stay in the community where they live now?

Are they healthy and independent enough to “age in place?

Are they thinking of eventually downsizing, relocating to a senior retirement complex, or moving to another climate?

If they plan to stay in their current home, what adaptations would your loved ones need to successfully age in place, including railings and ramps? And what maintenance work will need to be done, now or in the near future, such as roof replacement, painting, and furnace repair or replacement?

Do they need help around the house, inside and outside, in every season? In particular, consider heavy yard chores, such as snow shoveling, lawn-cutting, and raking.

Will they eventually need ways to get around and maintain social interaction?

How would the potential caregivers in your family balance caring for their children with the eventual needs of your parents—especially if they live at a distance from you?

Are there local organizations, agencies or services nearby to meet immediate needs, such as senior centers for socialization, help with food shopping, and medical transportation?

Healthcare wishes. If your loved ones are unable to manage their financial and personal affairs at some point, they need to assign roles for their adult children and others to step in to serve as their representatives.

Have your care recipients completed advance directives—will, health care proxy, powers of attorney and living will?

Do you have a list of key contacts, including their elder law attorney?

What are your loved ones’ thoughts about long-term care later in life—and how would the family pay for it?

Do your loved ones have an estate plan and instructions for their funeral and legacy wishes?